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Joke of the Day
"I have a photographic memory it just hasn't developed yet"
Next Joke
"Someone told me they dont get tattoos cuz ""you dont put bumper stickers on a Ferrari"" which was weird bc he was a 92 Chevy caprice at best"
"If my iPod doesn't work in the next few minutes, I'm throwing it in the river. It can either sync or swim."
"What kind of coffee does an executioner drink? Decap"
"Help! I have food stuck in my throat! Haha, just choking!"
"""OH NO PYTHON whew just my nose. OH NO COBRA nope still my nose. OH NO RATTLESNAKE shit, nose. God I can't live like this."" -Elephant"
"Me: Don't be mean to my friend. Her: Your friend just broke in my door and almost strangled me. Me: I said he was my friend, not yours."
"Damn girl are you a cornfield? Because I'm stalking you."
"Please, I can't handle any plays on words tonight. I just had an appundectomy."
"*orders pepperoni pizza* Her: you need to start taking better care of yourself. *calls back, adds mushrooms*"