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Joke of the Day

"If my iPod doesn't work in the next few minutes, I'm throwing it in the river. It can either sync or swim."

"Donald Trump isnt that weird looking... .........I would even dare to call him a little hand-some."

"Fitbits are the selfies of exercise."

"Kids don't listen! I've told mine a hundred times to fall off the top of the slide during recess so we can sue the school."

"5yo: ""Dad we don't have a chimney. How will Santa get in?"" Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what? Me: what?"

"How do they promote safe sex in Wales? They put signs next to the sheep that kick"

"A good friend is like a four leaf clover: sometimes you accidentally run them over with a lawnmower"

"Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don't have one, it's probably you."

"Why are Americans so bad at League of Legends? because they can't protect their towers"

"""HULK WANT LOAN."" Bank: ""We can't loan to people like you."" ""GREEN SKIN PEOPLE??"" Bank: ""No, people who owe 2.6M in property damage."""