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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster seal die? He was clubbing too hard (its a horrible joke I know, please punish my lack of comedic genius)"

"Cinderella Joke What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? UGHACKLURB (Gagging noise)"

"I stayed at my girlfriends family's place durring the Christmas break. Her father was being a prick and wouldn't let us sleep together, which is a shame, because he is a real good looking guy."

"I have a fear of speed bumps... ...I'm slowly getting over it."

"What did Bill Cosby call Donald Trump? A rookie."

"[Interview] ""Describe yourself in one word."" Me: Lethargic."

"Praying: It's like wanting to help without actually having to help"

"Well, if you're going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van."

"Last week I was with a midget prostitute. I payed her $20 to go up on me."

"What happens on Santa's lap.......stays on Santa's lap."