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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster seal die? He was clubbing too hard (its a horrible joke I know, please punish my lack of comedic genius)"

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years Then we met."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? At least 7. One to screw in the bulb and the others to form a support system. They would also like you to know they're vegan."

"How does Peter Pan fly? If someone hit you in the Peter with a Pan, you'd fly too."

"When I was in jail I was asked by one of the rather large inmates, ""you wana be the poppa or the momma?"" I responded with ""Poppa""..... ""then get over here and suck mommas dick"""

"I noticed my wife was reading a book that was titled ""The Silent Wife"". I immediately asked ""That's fiction, right?"""

"Y'know the trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music does."

"What do my dick and my mind have in common? They both want to get blown."

"Lately I've gotten into donkey porn... ...it really gets MEEE OFFFFF!"

"I just saw an Asian chick with big boobs and a booty. I took a pic so if any of you have Mythbuster's email hit me up."