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Joke of the Day

"What do my dick and my mind have in common? They both want to get blown."

"What species of mushroom is known for being an instigator? The shiitalkie mushroom."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat? If they went forward they would fall into the boat."

"What's your ringtone? That's nice. Mine's a light shade of brown."

"Police arrested two kids yesterday... ...one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"I was just told this joke What's the hard part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair!!"

"Why can't you ever really trust your toilet? It's usually full of shit."

"I want to make a porno with Larry Bird and Dennis Rodman at 6 in the morning... It's called early bird gets the worm"

"My family said if I don't get a Facebook, they'd all get a Twitter I sacrificed myself for all of twitter kind I'm the Jesus of social media"

"Wife called up her mom and said, ""He fought with me again,I'm coming to live with you."" Mom replied, no no my daughter, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you."