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Joke of the Day

"How does Bob Marley like his sandwiches? Wi' jam in"

"I aspire to write jokes for laffy taffy. Q: What do you call a gullible vampire? A: A sucker"

"I posed naked for a magazine today... Although from the reaction I got, I think the newsstand owner would have preferred money."

"Matchbooks exist just to be clues in detective movies."

"[at pet store] ""This tortoise's shell keeps going soft. Am I doing something wrong?"" ""No, it happens. It's just a reptile dysfunction."""

"My Doctor told me I had to stop masturbating. Apparently it was making it difficult to complete the exam."

"Mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. BARTENDER: We dont serve your kind round' here. MUSHROOM: Why not I'm a fun-gai. I'll see my way out, thanks."

"Tom Brady will be suspended from his balls"

"Today is National Girlfriend's Day. But it will never be National Marriage Day. The calendar's just not ready for that kind of commitment."

"I asked my Gynecologist about a Job She said they had a few openings"