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Joke of the Day

"Mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink. BARTENDER: We dont serve your kind round' here. MUSHROOM: Why not I'm a fun-gai. I'll see my way out, thanks."

"My mom laughed at me when I told her I was making a car out of spaghetti... you should have seen her face when I drove pasta!"

"We're all born with scars. from the moment we open our eyes and look at the world we are wounded, we all share that same mark... Bellybuttons."

"If I believed changing my profile picture could change the world I'd change it to a picture of vending machines that dispense tiger cubs"

"Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

"I like my women the way i like my luxury cars Blacked out"

"What do you call a laughing mayonnaise? lmayo ahh"

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder w cheese ;^]"

"Dude... I was there, don't try to change the story."

"What's the difference between a shrimp with big tits and a bus station full of old people? One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station!"