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Joke of the Day

"Username goes to the store. He buys three oranges and goes to the till. Username checks out."

"What's the difference between one direction and futurama There's only one bender in futurama"

"Vaping! The great taste of steam, the cool look of blowing a flashlight."

"When I die I want my remains poured out of an airplane over the Grand Canyon. But don't cremate me. Just dump my body on some tourists."

"The IOC has claimed that they will catch Olympic drug cheats. I'm not so sure - they're pretty fucking fast."

"My psychic friend is really excited about this new year. You could say he's really looking forward to it."

"Recent studies have shown that 5 out of 6 people enjoy gang rapes, and would be apart of one again."

"Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side."

"My mind says ""no"" but my heart says ""yes"", all my vital organs speak English, it's very confusing and loud"

"What does a witch use to see if her spells are going to work? Spell check!"