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Joke of the Day

"When I die I want my remains poured out of an airplane over the Grand Canyon. But don't cremate me. Just dump my body on some tourists."

"Marilyn Monroe died & was reincarnated into thousands of white girls who can't be handled at their worst, and aren't deserved at their best."

"CHRISTMAS BONUS Boss: Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here? Secretary: My lawyer."

"Where do you weigh a whale? At a whale weigh station"

"What do people call Mozart and Beethoven after they died? Decomposers"

"What did one orphan say to the other? Robin, get in the Batmobile."

"Upgrade your weekend: Take Monday Off..."

"BREAKING NEWS: Miami Heat joins LeBron James."

"What does Salvador Dali eat for breakfast? Milk and Surreal."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a washer? When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week."