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Joke of the Day

"Recent studies have shown that 5 out of 6 people enjoy gang rapes, and would be apart of one again."

"If you like to speak in different languages while high off marijuana, you're probably Rosetta Stoned."

"Did you hear about the most recent police shooting? I heard they killed a law-abiding, productive member of society."

"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women. There were tons of girls there, just not very many."

"The government should pay for everyone to get massages on November 9th."

"A man with OCD and a man with ADHD walk into a bar... Everything explodes."

"My VW Beetle can't deliver when I want a ""GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY"" honk. It's all, ""Hi! Let's get a latte after you move just a smidge!"""

"If Hillary wins, I'm leaving the country. If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country. It's not like I don't like either one. I just love to travel."

"I wondered why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me... Tesicular cancer"

"If my dying plant is any indication, I probably don't water my dog enough... Oh fuck, where's my kid?"