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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you combine a watch with a dog? An eternally suffering abomination...YOU MONSTER!"

"I called the rape hotline today Apparently it's only for victims"

"BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired"

"I can't believe that they only taught us abstinence during sex ed! It's inconceivable!"

"What kind of vitamin does a pirate take? Vitamin sea."

"Road rage, because yelling and cursing at strangers in the safety of your vehicle is fun. Unless they have a gun."

"I'm currently boycotting any company that sells items I can't afford."

"What do you call a ghost at midnight? A sheet in the dark!"

"Should I have a baby after 35? No 35 children is enough."

"What should you do if you're cold? Stand in the corner, because it's 90 degrees."