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Joke of the Day

"A baby seal walks into a club. ...while two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bah-dum-tsssssss."

"I bet Matt McConaughey isnt aware he's in movies. His agent drops him off & hes like ""Ha-Allright..this is my life now? Cool camera broski!"""

"ME: *sees a puppy* BRAIN: Your backpack could fit a puppy."

"Some women enjoy eye contact during oral sex on a gentleman Others say it stings."

"I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted."

"What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? Antique farm equipment."

"Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process."

"Our last fight was my fault.. My wife asked me ""whats on the tv?"" I said ""dust."""

"If you're only 18, please don't post philosophy and proverb verbiage based on your first love and the difficulty of your inexperienced life."

"interviewer: why do you want this job me: i've just always been very passionate about not starving to death"