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Joke of the Day

"I bet Matt McConaughey isnt aware he's in movies. His agent drops him off & hes like ""Ha-Allright..this is my life now? Cool camera broski!"""

"Thinks face-book should add a big fat FUCK YOU button!"

"What's a blind mans favorite car? A cataract"

"how does a bakery know when to make more bread? on a knead the dough basis."

"""Doctor, I have an embarrassing medical problem..."" NSFW Well, what is it?"" asks the doctor. ""I have five penises."" ""Five penises!,"" exclaims the doctor, ""How does your underwear fit?"" ""Like a glove!"""

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flags a big plus."

"When I ask my wife if she wants help, she changes the subject and asks if a bear shits in the woods, like I'm some sort of bear scientist."

"So a horse walks into a bar...... and the bartender asks ""Why the fuck is there a horse in my bar?"""

"What does Arnold Schwarzenegger call a colonoscopy? A Cameron Diaz"

"No point I'll go straight to the point, this all sentence is pointless"