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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because she can't find the number 11 EDIT: Maybe the fact she thinks it was called 9-11 was part of the joke?"

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"How do you know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snow Balls"
"Went to a public park and my 4yo was like, ""Is this Disney World?!"" The answer is yes and I'll cut anyone who tells her differently."
"good morning class *farts* today we'll *farts* be learning *farts* abou *farts* oh god *farts* call an ambula *farts* it hurts so much *fa"
"I like my coffee like I like my tea Hot with a splash of milk."
"Knock knock. Who's there? Irish Jew, Amalie. Amalie who? Irish Jew Amalie-Christmas "
"Grammar tip Farther = physical distance Further = metaphorical distance Father = emotional distance"
"There are three unwritten laws of life... 1. 2. 3."
"I met Josh Pec the other day... I met Josh Pec the other day, he's such a boob."
"Mom said angels are watching over me I'm just afraid they're taking notes to make sure I go to hell."
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