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Joke of the Day

"Went to a zoo the other day. The only exhibit was a dog. it was a shitzu"

"Sitting on the toilet this morning, I was reminded of my first divorce. At first I thought it had been a clean break, but then it got messy and there was lots of paperwork."

"This blonde is so stupid she called me to get my telephone number!"

"Can't wait for ""Watch Where You're Going, Dummies"" Ricky Gervais' new show where he laughs at blind people crossing a busy street."

"Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie! They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, dang it! BREATHE!"

"I could never fist a girl My hand would always be reaching for a Pringle."

"One day a man met three beggars. To the first he gave a dime to the second a dime and to the third a nickel. What time was it? A quarter to three."

"Me: Ooh, I'd love to go to your party, but I have a dentist appointment. Her: On a Saturday night? Me: I've got really bad teeth."

"When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's cute. I just find it strange how many people have knives on a date."