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Joke of the Day

"I could never fist a girl My hand would always be reaching for a Pringle."

"What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch? Bernie Sanders"

"Terrorists now have a brand new state of the art weapon that can be hidden in plain sight The Galaxy Note 7"

"My daughter forgot to bring her lunch to school today. It was delicious."

"Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !"

"""My wife's having a relationship with the Speaker of the House of Representatives"" ""Boehner?"" ""No, she assures me it's completely platonic."""

"Why did simba's father die in a stampede??? Because he couldn't mufasa!!!"

"What's colder than ice cream? ISIS"

"r/jokes this Aprils fools is god damn annoying at least give us a way to turn it off lol."

"What do single people call Valentine's Day? Independence Day"