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Joke of the Day

"Can't wait for ""Watch Where You're Going, Dummies"" Ricky Gervais' new show where he laughs at blind people crossing a busy street."

"Q: What did one angel say to the other? A: ""Halo."""

"If I had a time machine and could travel to any time imaginable, I know in my heart I'd probably just set that thing to lunchtime."

"Did you hear about the Alaska native that didn't like fish? Yeah, he just wasn't inuit."

"If the CIA has my house bugged they've heard several impromptu songs about my dog being a good boy."

"Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp."

"Tweets got stolen. * Everybody looks at the new black dude following *"

"What is the bank manager's favourite type of football? Fiver side!"

"Old people always poke me at weddings and say ""you're next."" I do the same thing to them at funerals"

"Girl walks into a bar she asks the bartender for a double entendre, *so he gave her one.*"