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Joke of the Day

"My ex-wife still misses me. BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! ...You see it's funny cause marriage is terrible"

"What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings"

"When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That's why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson."

"So I got asked if I wanted a threesome... I said no thanks, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd go out to dinner with my parents."

"why are Americans like women? Because they always turn up late and take all the credit for winning the war"

"So someone called me a dick... So it got me thinking, yeah it checks out; roommates are a couple of nuts, neighbor's an asshole, and my friend is kind of a cunt."

"Can strawberry jam? No, but lemon curd."

"""Instead of a 58 year old woman, I wanna look like a 28 year old shiny iguana"" - Plastic Surgery"

"A cannibal chief was just about to stew his latest victim for dinner when the man protested ""You can't eat me ? I'm the manager!"" ""Well"" said the cannibal ""soon you'll be a manager in chief."""

"""Bill, I'm beginning to think my wife might be cheating on me..."" ""What makes you say that, Tim?"" ""Well, you're standing naked in my closet..."""