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Joke of the Day

"When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That's why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson."

"Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans but they don't admit it."

"Why couldn't the hipster get off? He'd only masturbate before it was hard!"

"I wonder why the ingredients on a snickers wrapper says ""May contain almonds."" What, is the guy who drops in the almonds a slacker?"

"What did my wife say after I finally got around to trimming my pubic hair? Wow, that's pretty nuts."

"My wife just asked me why she came home to find marinara sauce all over our sleeping baby's head. Sorry babe, I'M NOT A DETECTIVE."

"I'm thinking of getting a tribal tattoo to express my individuality."

"People tell me my humour is offbeat but they get weirded out if you walk around with a metronome."

"""I'm wet and have crabs."" That's what sea said."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide"