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Joke of the Day

"Have a box of tissues on hand when you watch ""Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"" on DVD, guys. And, yes, I mean for the copious weeping. Jerks."

"What do you call a woman with her tongue out? A lesbian with a hard on."

"House doctor and my family are looking at me like I'm retarded. Note To Self: Cats land on their feet...not babies."

"What do holiday parties and after school clubs have in common? They both feature Chess nuts!"

"Why did the football player tackle the phone booth? To get his quarter back! Hahahahahha"

"Do you know the difference between camping and molestation? No? In that case, do you want to go camping this weekend?"

"What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby? I don't use sugar in my signature cookies."

"What's the difference between a gay mustache and a straight mustache? The smell."

"I wonder what my future wife is doing right now.. Hopefully modeling."

"Where in the supermarket would you find the Dalai Lama? Eggs-aisle."