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Joke of the Day

"If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth ... ... then it is at least somewhat likely that something very gay is going into your mouth at one point in time or another. Get it?"

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"MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!"
"I changed my name in my daughters phone to God...just texted her and said ""I saw that"" You should of seen her face. Priceless"
"Sometimes I say big words, even when i don't know what they mean They make me sound photosynthesis."
"Weezer first to rustle jimmies? Say it aint so | ... (hint 1:06)"
"Fucking terrorists. I guess I can't google ""nice truck"" anymore to find out about the latest pickups on the market...."
"Why did the bird go to the restaurant? Tweet!"
"""Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants"" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows"
"[tattoo parlour] ME: I'd like a tattoo as a tribute to my dad. He loved gardening & now he's dead, so maybe like a skeleton mowing the lawn?"
"What have working for the KGB and oral sex got in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."