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Joke of the Day

"MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS? EUROPE: How can we save our economy? AMERICA: What color is this dress?!"

"Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own? Because it was two tired."

"When I was getting my prostate exam, I asked the Doc where I should put my pants ""Over there, besides mine."""

"I was so excited when I saw the Nail Polish advertisement Because I want to sleep with this girl from Poland"

"What's better than winning a gold medal at the special Olympics? Not being retarded"

"Cashier: Aww, you grocery shop so your wife doesn't have to? [flashback to me losing paper, rock, scissors] Me: Yeah, I'm sweet like that."

"I sometimes feel like the Angel on my shoulder is on vacation & the Devil invited his cousin over for a play date"

"My son asked me on father's day why there was no son day I told him it's every sunday"

"Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? You know he's guilty."

"What is the difference between a cock and a penis? A cock is an animal. Penis is a male sexual organ."