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Joke of the Day

"Why is there no Windows 9? Because 7 8 9."

"How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries"

"Why do nice guys make good lovers? They always finish last."

"I was going to make one of those Bitstrips cartoons, but then I decided to pick the lint out of my belly button instead. I'm pretty sure I came out ahead"

"Today I walked up to some girls and asked if they liked guys with big dicks They replied yeah. I replied, ""I'm sorry for wasting your time..."" turned around and walked away awkwardly."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. The librarian says, ""It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."""

"So a finch asks his mother... ""Mom, why does my beak look different than yours?"" She replies, ""Well son, I hate to break it to you, but you're adapted."""

"A painting was arrested... It cried out ""I've been framed! Don't hang me!"""

"How do you know a presidential candidate is lying? Their lips are moving."

"What did the animal control officer ask the Hawaiian dancer? Hula the dogs out?"