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Joke of the Day

"What did the animal control officer ask the Hawaiian dancer? Hula the dogs out?"

"Why was President Banana of Zimbabwe elected? He had great appeal. - Courtesy of my dad."

"Why was the Spanish train the primary suspect? It had locomotive. (I'm not sorry)"

"I can't get my dog to stop chasing people on bikes. I guess I'll have to take his bikes away."

"What's green and red, and goes round and round? A frog in a food blender."

"What do you call a dinosaur with an English degree? Thesaurus."

"I don't know why I would want to ""Keep Up"" with them... I don't even know where Kardashia is. (geography's not my strong suit)"

"What does Shakespeare's dog eat? Iambs!"

"Going to a wedding today: Me: Do I look ok boys? 6: You look fine. 9: You look wow. Clearly I have work to do with the little one."

"My best friend was talking to me about proposing to his girlfriend. I'm not sure though, she's not really my type."