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Joke of the Day

"I tried to sell my old dogging stuff on eBay this week, without success. No bidders but I did have 12 watchers."

"I have a terrible habit of telling people when I have to take a shit. Heh, gotcha."

"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of boats? Because if they fell forwards, they'd land in the boat."

"A woman went to get implants in her butt However, her butt was instead injected with cement. I guess you could say she hit rock bottom"

"How can you tell a Minnesota hockey fan? Ask him what color the blue line is and wait. It may take him ten minutes to answer."

"TLC Touching Little Children"

"Give a man a fish, and he'll ask for a lemon; teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Fridays."

"How many jail guards does it take to change a light bulb? Why does it matter? Everyone knows the prison system can't change anything."

"Saying ""Only in New York"" is just a way for you to cope with watching a bum pee on another bum that is shitting in the subway."

"I went to a nightclub the other evening and saw a topless ventriloquist. She was really good. I never saw her lips move."