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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish, and he'll ask for a lemon; teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Fridays."

"Lottery gives you a 1 in 200M chance of skipping work tomorrow...alcohol is 1 in 5. You play your game...I'll play mine"

"The first time Chuck Norris ever played Counter Strike, he no-scope headshoted a terrorist through the walls from across the map on CS_Dust 2...... with a knife."

"Technology.( Based on true events) My apple watch reminded me to take a minute to breathe right after my grandfather let one rip."

"Did you hear about corduroy pillow cases? They're making all the headlines! Never said it was a good joke..."

"Do you know why women love zombies? Because zombies love what's on the inside, not the outside!"

"You had me at: I'm calling the police."

"Today I told my boyfriend he can have as much anal sex as he wants... After all it's his butt."

"I can point out chicks who say ""vokka"" and ""liberry"" instead of ""vodka"" and ""library"" based on the use of emoticons in their screen name."

"My girlfriend and I finally decided to try out role-play in the bedroom. I dressed up like Luke Skywalker And she pretended to be a dead fish."