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Joke of the Day

"Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money."

"Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?"

"Ran out of laundry detergent, so I poured in some Windex. It worked OK, except for all the birds smacking into me."

"Teacher: What is the difference between lightning and electricity? Alexander: I know you do not have to pay for lightning."

"My sister and her husband just split up, so I got my 8 year old niece the new ""Divorce Barbie"" She comes with half of Ken's stuff."

"only joke i ever made up.. What did the papa pear tree say to his effeminate male son? GROW A PAIR!"

"I've had enough of my girlfriend's obsession with auctions. So I bid her farewell."

"Smelled my finger after I took the bandaid off of it. Don't do that."

"Of all the cars in Italy... Mussolini's is the fascist."

"It's so annoying when you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them and they don't accept your friend request."