191544

Joke of the Day

"So I recently came into a large sum of money... ...and then the cashier wouldn't accept it."

"People say that all men think with their penises... Well if thats thats the case, I think BIG."

"Why did the Ottoman empire collapse? Once your stack of Ottomans gets to a certain height it will fall over."

"""Yeah, well your dog isn't a rescue, your snacks are processed and everyone knows you're vaccinated"" - how a kid talks shit in 2015"

"What happens when you turn on a computer? You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk"

"I'm attracted to fat chicks... ...by the force of gravity"

"cops at DUI checkpoints should just check to see if u texted ur ex at some point throughout the night"

"Bud light is alot like sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water"

"I've been working with NASCAR on redesigning the track for more variety, but it's tough I just can't seem to get it right"

"'Mum, can I lick the bowl? ' the child asks ""No!"" Replied the mother, ""just flush like everyone else"""