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Joke of the Day

"""But I can't conquer China, it's way too big..."" Now Genghis, what do I always say? *Sighs* ""I'm Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't"""

"Some choices are easier than others: An emergency doctor's appt vs a much needed hair appt. At least if I die my hair will be cute."

"How do you make a little girl cry twice? Wipe you dick off on her teddy bear. I...I'm sorry. I was told this by a schoolmate in middle school."

"If you walk around in knight's armor long enough, people will just get used to it."

"I didn't have fun at the Boston Marathon this year ... back in 2013 it was a blast."

"Why was the fruit farmer losing money? He couldn't grow a pear"

"What phrase would a neckbeard who watches South Park use the most? M'Kay"

"Why would I donate 2 to save a kid's life? I'd rather spend that 2 on a condom to prevent a kid's life."

"Mickey Rourke needs to get beaten up at the beginning of every movie he's in so it explains his face."

"Statistically speaking...(NSFW) Nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape."