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Joke of the Day
"What shape is your hair in the morning? A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)"
Next Joke
"Why did the hippy drown at the beach? Because he was too far out mannnn."
"Everyone says fat people don't like puns. But I think that's just a huge stereotype."
"Girl 1: ""Can I invite a few friends to your Halloween party?"" Girl 2: ""Sure. The more the scarier!"""
"Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons? Because they keep stepping on the string."
"Mom: ""Why are your eyes dilated?"" Me: ""Your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love"" Mom: ""What were you looking at?"" Me: ""Memes"""
"[house being raided] [swat guy crashes through window, lands on slip n slide I placed there for this exact reason and slides out front door]"
"Why do people go to bed? Because the bed won't come to them."
"Have you been shopping for a dishwasher lately? I have Juan on sale."
"So a termite walks into a bar... ...and asks, ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"""