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Joke of the Day
"Of course this milk is fresh, I just saw it breakdancing in the back of the refrigerator."
Next Joke
"If your partner says ""if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new,"" ""anything"" doesn't include getting stuck in a traffic jam"
"My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician."
"Why does ISIS drink instant coffee? Because they hate French press!"
"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists cant change anything."
"What is the best part about duct tape? It can turn ""no, no, no!"" Into ""mmm, mmm, mmm"""
"I'm thankful for my Twitter family. Without you people, I'd still just be talking to myself"
"My masseur thinks he's naturally better than any masseuse. He's such a massagynist."
"Why is Donald Trump such a surprise? People did Nazi him coming."
"Just told a couple disbelieving millennials about how we used to have to poop without cell phones."