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Joke of the Day

"What is the best part about duct tape? It can turn ""no, no, no!"" Into ""mmm, mmm, mmm"""

"Grab a plate and throw it on the floor. Did it break? Yes? Ok, now tell it you're sorry. Good, now, did it unbreak? No? Now you understand."

"There are two types of people in this world Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data sets"

"Just once I'd like a number between 1 and 10 to think of me."

"Congrats on being one of the ""cool kids"" in Highschool. Too bad about the rest of your life though."

"I know they're awful, but... Care to share your favorite ""dead baby"" joke?"

"I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEBODY WOULD BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-oh, never mind, I found it..."

"If I'm ever kidnapped and forced at gunpoint to recite the ABC's without singing the song tell my family I loved them"

"A cannibal tried a bite of my kidney He said it was offal"

"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it."