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Joke of the Day

"Saw a young couple holding hands today & it reminded me that I need to buy a bottle of vodka"

"You guys wanna hear a joke? Ellen Pao"

"What does Al-Libi use for his defense during his trial? His alibi."

"Why did the chemist join the Pentecostal church? He wanted to speak in tungsten."

"I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. - White. - Good condition. - Reliable. - Cheap. - Some evidence of rear end damage."

"What is ""The Fonz's"" favorite breakfast? Eeeeeeeeeeggs"

"I may not look good naked, but I'm a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked"

"What's the difference between pizza and a black guy? The pizza can feed a family"

"I may be on Santa's naughty list but at least I had fun getting there."

"My wifes hair is so sexy, Its 50 shades of grey."