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Joke of the Day

"I hate when waitresses flirt with me.. I can't tell if they just want the tip or if they want just the tip."

"What did they find in the toilet in the star ship Enterprise? The captain's log."

"Jared Fogle is going to prison. It looks as if his steady diet of footlongs will continue"

"What do you call a one legged woman? Eileen! What do you call a one legged Japanese woman. Irene! What do you call the Samoan lady who fell off the cliff? Eileen Tufa'a!"

"My family insists i am addicted to drinking brake fluid. But i can stop any time i want."

"What do you call Shia LaBeouf's alter ego? Inertia."

"Today i asked my friend how hungover he was... He replied. ""Well on a scale of one to Amy Winehouse its not looking so good."""

"My doctor recommended that I should stab an unsuspecting coworker, or do some anger management or something."

"There once was ... There once was a fellow named Wes, who tried to make his comments the best, although sometimes he missed, he never expected to get dissed, but some redditors downvoted nonetheless."

"I brush my teeth a lot longer when I'm around another person."