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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a one legged woman? Eileen! What do you call a one legged Japanese woman. Irene! What do you call the Samoan lady who fell off the cliff? Eileen Tufa'a!"

"I've got a 100 question vocab quiz this friday on 9/11... Well I guess I'm gonna bomb it"

"A large amount of stormtroopers walk into a bar and orders drinks They all miss the free shots."

"A bear walks into a bar.. *Goes up to the bartender* Bear: ""Hi, I'd like a gin...................and tonic."" Bartender: ""Sure, but what's with the big pause?"" *bear looks at own paws*"

"I want to be rich enough to tell the Chipotle cashier, ""Guacamole is NO OBJECT!"""

"An angry wife storms up to her husband. Wife: Our son just called me a bitch. Husband: That son of a bitch!"

"My class teacher once said ""Write and Practice."" Turns out she was right. I practiced on my desk just before I started my exam and it worked"

"How many perverts does it take to put in a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out."

"What kind of gun does a firefighter have? A water gun."

"I don't know why friends and family keep getting pregnant when I have two kids right here they can have."