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Joke of the Day

"What do John Mellencamp and Ashton Kutcher have in common? They both picked up a Cougar and then thought better of it."

"Two cows walk in to a bar... Then one of the cows says: ""*Mooooo*"", then the other replies, ""*Fuck, I was supposed to say that*"""

"You guys hear about that mathematics student who was flunking? He only understood his field to a degree and decided to look at it from a new angle."

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? He still hasn't unwrapped his present."

"Penis Enlarger My wife suggested I get a penis enlarger. So I did, she's 25 and her name is Kelly."

"I wish all tests were things you peed on"

"what's the difference of Batman and a black-man? batman can go to shop without robin."

"My friend and I have a pact that if we're not married by age 40, we're going to fist bump and take shots for making good decisions"

"Why does the average person all the sudden become a tomato juice drinking weirdo on an airplane?"

"Me: Look, even if you could breathe underwater, no one wants to be Aquaman. 4yo: Who's Aquaman? Me: EXACTLY!"