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Joke of the Day

"A blonde walks into a bar yelling, ""65 days!"" A guy asks her, ""What's in 65 days?"" The blonde replies, ""I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"""

"Me: They were out of tampons, so I got you a box of bandaids instead. Her:"

"All day people keep mentioning the new 20 dollar bills I check my wallet everytime somebody mentions it and mine are all still Jackson."

"Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well bring me some you haven't had around for that long."

"I want this election to be over so badly you'd think it was a friend's play."

"What do you call sleep walking nun? Roaming Catholic"

"236 luftballoons* * - adjusted for inflation"

"Me: Heeeeyyyyyy Judy, good morning! *scratches Judy's back, wiping off my Cheeto fingers* Judy: Hi!!! How are y..... Me: *walks away*"

"Waiter: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Is Kohl's cash okay?"

"What do you call an oil stain that lasted for 1000 years? Ancient grease"