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Joke of the Day

"Why should you bury indians 10 feet deep? Because deep down they're good people"

"What two planets should we keep clean? Earth and Uranus."

"[Safari hunt] (Ok don't tell them I'm an elephant) *Adjusts hat and shades* ""Elephant?. Yes that way."" *Points with trunk*"

"What do you call a woman with an opinion?? Wrong"

"A watched pot never boils. The same is also true if you forget to turn the burner on apparently."

"How do you get certified as an interior decorator? You don't pull out"

"I've just got back from a funeral of a friend who was killed after being hit in the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service."

"Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*"

"Do you need space? Join NASA!"

"When Oasis broke up, my girlfriend was so upset. I told her to stop crying her heart out."