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Joke of the Day

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - LAPD Barbie ...comes with two nightsticks in case one gets broken subduing a suspect. Taser also available."

"Some days, I just like to live wild and dangerous... These are the days I say to a woman, ""calm. the. fcuk. down."""

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A mega sore ass"

"It's the worst night of the year for my dog and cat... Their names are Pots and Pans."

"Have you ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich? That's what its like to fuck a 90 year old"

"What did the Nazi say to the pregnant Jew? I see you have another Jew in the oven."

"Last night I slept for 8 hours straight, and then for 2 hours gay."

"To predict how someone is going to treat you, look at how they treat the waiters."

"I went camping with a bunch of supermodels once. It was pretty in tents."

"- Fred, Velma, Shaggy... Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals? - Rhino - We know you do, Scooby, but it's not your team's turn"