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Joke of the Day
"Iggy Azalea must have an infinitely high viscosity because she got no flow."
Next Joke
"My office password's been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat."
"Cop: ""You been drinkin?"" Me: I'm going to dinner w/my wife's mom & 94yo granny ""You're free to go.."" Come on dude. Can't you just arrest me?"
"Two muffins are in the oven. One looks over and says, ""Gee, don't you think it's hot in here?"" and the other muffin says, ""AAAAHHH!!!! A talking muffin!!!"""
"Why is the letter ""t"" so important to a stick insect? Without it would be a sick insect."
"I like my women like I like my exams with curves"
"And how did you find your steak sir? Well quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and there it was"
"My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really. She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack."
"how did I escape iraq iran"
"Carl: Gonna be a hot one today. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: Male ostriches can roar like lions. Me: Fair enough, Carl."