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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I walk in on another guy in a bathroom stall and, since we're both on our phones, neither of us notices until I sit on his lap."

"What'd the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip"

"Time = Money because you SPEND it!"

"My dog has been chasing people on bikes lately so I had to take away his bike"

"What sock do you put on last? The one that's left."

"A new study says that lesbians have more orgasms than straight people. Of course they do. Have you ever heard of a dildo premature ejaculating?"

"My friend's wife asked him, if she died tomorrow, when would he start sleeping with other women? He said, ""about three years ago."""

"When coming out of any coma, try keeping your eyes shut for another day or two to see what everyone's saying about you."

"'Mum, can I lick the bowl? ' the child asks ""No!"" Replied the mother, ""just flush like everyone else"""

"Women, don't tell us about your boyfriend. He's a guy. We know what he's like."