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Joke of the Day

"What'd the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip"

"Does a farmer eat female sheep? Ewe, no."

"Why did the seamen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"No one ever said life was easy, but several people said you were."

"Teacher: Didn't you know the bell had gone? Fred: I didn't take it Miss."

"Did you hear about the lawyer selling moonshine from a van outside the courthouse? He was disbarred."

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, ""Hey, buddy, doesn't that bother you?"" The pirate says, ""Yar, it's drivin' me nuts."""

"What do Spiderman and I have in common? We both end up with sticky hands after using the web."

"""Babe there's something I've always wanted to do.."" *tenderly moves her bangs away from her eyes then scotch tapes them to her forehead*"

"I always sleep naked. I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable, they can just switch buses."