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Joke of the Day
"My phone autocorrected my name to shark and now I hate my parents for not calling me shark"
Next Joke
"Phoned up the local gym I phoned up the local gym and asked them if they could teach me the splits. They asked me how flexible I was. I said I can't make Tuesdays."
"Ouija board......""your going to die!"" Me: you're*"
"What was the last thing Arnold Schwarzenegger said before he was eaten by cannibals? ""I'll be snack."""
"Hey, you funny fellows, what are some nonchalant jokes to tell people that do not sound like a joke at first? I need to impress my friends with Internet stuff, gosh."
"Q: What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer? A: You make my temperature rise."
"My lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch."
"A man walks into an auto parts store and says ""I'd like a rear view mirror for my Yugo."" The man behind the counter thinks about this for a while then says ""Yup seems like a fair trade to me."""
"How do you kill a Byzantine? You push him into an Ottoman."
"Finally tried Viagra,... Damn near broke my hand!"