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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into an auto parts store and says ""I'd like a rear view mirror for my Yugo."" The man behind the counter thinks about this for a while then says ""Yup seems like a fair trade to me."""

"Who's the idiot that called it ""The Wizard of Oz"" and not ""The Flair Witch Project""?"

"Why does a giraffe have a long neck? Cause its feet smell."

"What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth? A Concussion."

"The day I can't do my job drunk... Is the day I hang up my school bus keys."

"Me: I'd kill for a body like that Them: well by monitoring your calorie intake and daily exercise you c- Me: yeah I'd rather kill"

"Ever hear about the Mexican Train Killer? I heard he had locomotives."

"If you hated really old teak furniture, would you be anti antique teak?"

"INTERVIEWER: So, do you have any questions for me? ME: What's the Wi-Fi password? I: About the job M: What is the company Wi-fi password?"

"My Stephen Hawking book finally arrived from eBay. It's about time."