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Joke of the Day

"How do you know your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes keep piling up."

"What does a dyslexic Christian worship? Dog"

"Women like a man with confidence. Because without that, what's to destroy?"

"Started as a twitter crush, moved on to twitter boyfriend, now he's my twitter husband. Honeymooning on Google+ so we can be alone."

"Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant. Jesus: A table for 26, please. Headwaiter: But there's only . . . um, 13 of you. Jesus: Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."

"I was trying to chose a password for my email, but I was not able to... I had chosen BrazilianDefense, but apparently it was too weak."

"Bathroom Break A client told me she had to cut our meeting short to go to the bathroom.... she was full of shit."

"""Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?"" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there."

"What do you call a guy who plays the guitar unplugged? An amputee"

"I'm gonna be honest, I don't even know where girls pee from"