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Joke of the Day

"""Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?"" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there."

"It's alright if we're doing it all wrong. After all, we are the first generation to deal with midlife crisis by staring at our phones."

"Trump is banning the importing of shredded cheese. He wants to make America grate again."

"Who's the biggest hoe in history? Mrs. Pacman. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls till she died."

"I just want to live in a world where people come with on/off switches."

"Some people may call me an agnostic but I'm a God-fearing man -- afraid she might exist"

"A naked man walking through the jungle... ...when an elephant looks at him and says: -How can you even breath through this thing?"

"What do you call an exaggeration of mens genitalia? A phallus-y!"

"A man had sex with a baby horse [nsfw] He was clearly into pedo-filly-a"

"why is the bass player stuck outside? he doesn't know when to come in and can't find the right key anyway"