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Joke of the Day

"What does a dyslexic Christian worship? Dog"

"I swallowed a piece of string yesterday when it came out my other end it was tied in a bow I shit you not!"

"People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig."

"pleas tune into my next podcast where i ask what the FUCK angry birds is and viciously mock the first piece of shit caller to answer me"

"A woman walks into her doctor's office NSFW she ask's her doctor: is it possible to get pregnant from anal sex? her doctor replies: of course, how do you think lawyers are born?"

"What is small furry and brilliant at sword fights ? A mouseketeer !"

"It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle. He just didn't have the balls to do it"

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? Unlawful is against the law, whereas illegal is a sick bird. Note: This obviously works better when told than read."

"Overheard, my parents, watching the World Cup: Dad: Who are you routing for? Mom: I'm routing for it to be over."

"Did you hear about the parrot who lives in a bilingual household? It speaks a pidgin language."