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Joke of the Day

"When other parents at the playground ask me things about my baby I say, ""I don't know. I just kidnapped her."""

Next Joke
 
"There are two types of people I cannot stand Those who are intolerant of other cultures/ people groups... and the Dutch."
"Universe's odds of existing? Near impossible. Humanity's odds of existing? Near impossible. My chances at a relationship? Well... I make the other odds look like a 1 in 6 roll on loaded dice."
"What does a fish say when it runs into a wall? Damn!"
"One time I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist.... Unfortunately, I couldn't find any openings....."
"""I stalk people you've probably never heard of"" -hipster stalker"
"Why sharks are afraid to borrow money from other sharks! Because they are not just sharks, they are loan sharks!"
"My dog got into a bag of baking soda this morning ...and now she's a basic bitch"
"What did the tomato say to the cheese in court? I rest my queso."
"The difference between my ""Maine lobster"" and my ""main lobster"" is boiling water or a high five."
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