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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people I cannot stand Those who are intolerant of other cultures/ people groups... and the Dutch."

"Have I ever taught you South american Judo? Judo know if I have a knife, Judo know if I got a gun."

"Jack and the beanstalk Does everybody know the guy in Jack and The Beanstalk who trades the magic beans for Jacks cow? Cause I guess you could call him a Stalk Broker"

"The Embarrassing Moment by Lucy Lastic"

"Doctor asked his patient... A doctor asked his patient: Do you speak when you're sleeping? -No, I speak when the others are sleeping. I'm a teacher."

"Q: What kind of bar do fish go to? A: A sand bar."

"When I reached the border patrol checkpoint, I raised my kale smoothie & the officer immediately waved me through."

"BREAKING - The Russian Navy has released a statement after accidentally sinking one of it's own submarines Oops, wrong sub."

"Why is James Bond's favourite bartender played by Michael J Fox? He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini."

"Eventually the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphs."