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Joke of the Day

"I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight... to fulfill my fantasy... that we have health insurance."

"I was gonna make a joke about Sodium and Hydrogen, but NaH"

"Why has ""America"" been abbreviated to USA Because it has to Capitalize everything"

"My little sister's cat died... ...she cried telling me she needs another identical one. I got her one today, but i don't know why she needs another dead cat."

"[just meeting a new group of people] My brain: say something cool and different Me: HOW YA'LL GOT?? Brain: nice"

"Why did the Tumblr killed the Reddit fan? Because Reddit SUCKS."

"A dyslexic walks into a bra."

"I installed a mirror in front of my toilet so that when I run out of things to read I will have someone to talk to."

"Why doesn't Oprah Winfrey have sex with her husband? She doesn't have a husband."

"Chicago is the cleanest city in the world right now... BECAUSE IT JUST GOT SWEPT!!!!!!!!"