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Joke of the Day

"I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight... to fulfill my fantasy... that we have health insurance."

"I stopped fighting my inner demons; We're totes BFFs now."

"Why couldn't the leopard play Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? A: Because he was always spotted."

"The only joke my mom ever made was me"

"Homeless people's dogs must think, ""Damn, this is the longest walk ever!"""

"Why are all black people fast? The slow ones got caught."

"El Chapo is a very special guy... He's juan of a kind"

"I was talking with my girlfriend on Skype the other night... ...and she told me this really, really terrible joke. I mean, it wasn't even remotely funny!"

"Ellen Pao right now [deleted]"

"Maybe we gave Chris Brown too tough a time over Rihanna In his eyes, he may have just beat her white and gold."