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Joke of the Day

"A dyslexic walks into a bra."

"What did the Hungarian say to the annoying kid? ""You're nothing budapest!"""

"He did it again! Cop: ""What's in the bottle?"" Me: ""It's water."" Cop: ""This is wine."" Me: ""What? That damn Jesus! He did it again!"""

"How many apples grow on trees? All of them"

"With the ferocity that my 6 y/o daughter knocked on the bathroom door there was either a murderer in the house or a cat did something cute"

"So I asked my Doctor, ""Doctor, what are we going to do about this dangerous virus from Africa?"" He said, ""I don't know, he has two more years in office."""

"What's the ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter? Eskimo pi."

"Please just try it. Every woman you see tonight: ""Sexy Gary Busey?"""

"My week is just five days of wishing I had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing I had something to do."

"ANIMALS IT'S OK TO KILL IN AFRICA 1. Mosquitoes 2. Terminally ill zebra who signed a DNR 3. The Nazi monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark"